Montana
by Life's Crash Test Dummy
Summary: They say if you love something, set it free. If you’re Silver, you chase said something to Montana. EthanSilver


**Title: ****Montana**  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairing:** Ethan/Silver  
**Warning/Spoilers: **Season One Finale  
**Summary: **They say if you love something, set it free. If you're Silver, you chase said something to Montana. EthanSilver

**Author's note: **It's a bit of an addiction, I know, but I still can't believe Dustin isn't coming back and I _know_ the writers are just going to write him off in some vague lame way so I thought I'd write this for all the fans. Tell me if you like it.

* * *

**Montana**

"I can't believe I just did that."

"I can't believe I'm in Middle of Nowhere, Montana."

Ethan Ward smiles to himself as he keeps one hand on the leather wheel of an old, rusty red pickup truck. The truck clunks and jerks along a dark, dusty road, having nothing to guide him but the dim headlights and the full moon hanging overhead. His faithful truck is the only vehicle on the dirt path and he finds it safe to steal a fleeting look at his companion.

Erin Silver, born and raised in Beverly Hills, accustomed to white sand beaches and the hustle and bustle of California, is sitting on his far right. She has her exposed, tan legs tucked beneath her and she's staring out into the darkness, dragging a fingertip against the dirty window, drawing imaginary pictures and aimless paths. Her expression is pensive and absolutely stunning.

"Quit staring," she barks without even glancing his way. "The only thing worse than being in the middle of nowhere is my idiot boyfriend crashing his truck into a mountain and me dying in the middle of nowhere, my body never to be found."

He chuckles, "You're such a drama queen."

"And you're not," she quickly asks, raising a single, challenging eyebrow. A hurt expression crosses Silver's face as she turns towards Ethan and mockingly grabs her shoulder. "Ouch! Silver, it hurts so much! Stop, Silver! Turn off the camera!"

Silver breaks out in a smile and Ethan seems peeved.

"You really didn't have to film that," Ethan remarks, keeping his eyes cold and concentrated on the road. Silver pulls her knees to her chest and keeps her eyes on his face, taking in his handsome features, committing each and every detail to memory.

"Oh yeah, I did," she smirks. "C'mon, boyfriend, we're capturing memories here."

Ethan doesn't stay mad. After all, she called him boyfriend.

They've been "together" for a full two weeks now. Everything's new and exiting and amazing, but it all feels like an alternate reality. Both of them are so use to drama and pain and tragedy. Being so uninterruptedly happy feels more like a dream than anything and in a sense it isn't real. As gilded as it may be, Beverly Hills is their reality. Montana is simply fantasy.

In Montana there aren't any prying eyes, judging their every move. They can walk down the street with their fingers laced and him whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Instead of gossiping and condemning their relationship, the small town folks giggle and compliment on how cute a couple they make. In Montana she isn't bipolar Silver and he isn't star athlete Ethan. They're just two kids, happy kids in love.

_"My dad's expecting me." _

_"Ethan, you can't just leave! You can't…you can't kiss me like that and just walk away!" _

_"Fine. Come with me." _

_She falters. "What?!" _

_His face is completely serious, pleading. "Silver, I want you to come with me to __Montana__." _

She thinks it's a stupid idea. She thinks it's ridiculous of him to expect her to forget everything, forget Dixon and their undefined future, her unresolved issues with her mother, and Kelly who will be the first to say it's a bad idea. She bids him a cold goodbye and turns away. Silver shuts her phone off for the rest of the week, choosing to lock herself in her room and crying in sheer frustration and regret the night his plane takes off.

As Silver lies there in the comforting darkness of her room after reassuring Kelly that everything's okay, she brings her fingertips to her lips. The moment he kissed her, the moment his lips brushed hers in such pleasant friction, replays in her mind over and over. She recalls his scent, the feel of his fingers tangled in her hair, his heated breath and those eyes. Moreover, she thinks of the way she kissed him back, the way he made her feel, how she wanted him just as badly as he seemed to want her.

Three days pass and she and Dixon are over. It seems open-ended because their breakup is based on the fact that her feelings are all mixed up and that his family needs his complete, undivided attention, Annie landing herself in her biggest mess yet. It seems open-ended, but it really isn't because Silver isn't confused anymore. She knows what she wants and the next night she's on the redeye to Montana.

Throughout the entire ride, Silver squirms in her seat, imagining their reunion. She pictures his face brightening the moment his stormy eyes meet hers. He'll say something cheesy because he's lame and adorable like that and she'll laugh even if she finds it, well, lame and cheesy. He'll pull her into his arms and he'll kiss her. It'll all seem very teen movie and feel very teen movie, but unlike teen movies, she won't hate it because when she's with Ethan, she feels so real and important and loved.

Instead, she gets off the plane, grumpy and irritable because she couldn't sleep a wink and some kid kicked her seat, singing some Miley Cyrus song the entire time. It's then that Silver realizes she doesn't have his address. It's then that she lets go of her Hollywood castle in the sky and dials his cell phone number.

It's early and he sounds grouchy.

_"Ethan, I need you," she whispers, fatigued and weak and completely letting go of the tough facade she so desperately clings to, that serves as her day-to-day armor. _

About an hour later, he shows up in an old truck and a flannel shirt. Her head's fuzzy, but Silver manages to mumble some witty remark about "jock boy going cowboy", but neither really remember anything more because the next moment she's in his arms and the rest is history.

That was two weeks ago and it all still feels surreal, but then out of the corner of her eye, Silver spots his hand slither across the gap between them, feels his palm against her knuckles, fingers curling into hers. She knows that he's real and what they have is real and nothing else seems to matter.

Suddenly, Silver's whole body jerks forward as they come to a stop. Her eyes gaze beyond the glass though she doesn't see the familiar house she's called home for the last couple weeks. She sees nothing but mountains and confusedly turns to Ethan who's already outside the truck, embracing the dry Montana night.

"Ethan," she calls to him, getting out herself. "What's going on?"

"Change of plans," Ethan answers nonchalantly, climbing into the trunk of his truck. He holds his hand out to Silver who suspiciously stares at it. "Dear ol' dad brought a _friend_ home and you know, having your sixteen-year-old son and his girlfriend walk in might be a bit, well, awkward."

"Not to mention a bit scarring," Silver adds and takes his hand, "for you and me both."

"At least he gave us a heads up," Ethan shrugs and helps her into the bed of his pickup truck. He sits with his dark head of short curls against the back window of the cab and Silver stares at him thoughtfully.

"Something tells me this isn't the first time…"

"Third time, actually," Ethan replies with such a blasé attitude about it all. "I mean, I know he's got his own life and he's been so cool with letting you stay with us that I figured I should repay the favor."

"Still," Silver sighs and lays her head on his chest. "You deserve better, Ethan."

"I know," he answers, smiling. "That's why I've got you, right?"

"Aw, you're so sweet," Silver coos before her smile turns down in a playful glare. "Quit it."

Silver moves to shove him in the shoulder, but the second he catches on, he winces and his hand quickly moves to block the white bandage beneath the sleeve of his t-shirt. Silver leans away from him and crosses her arms, smirking.

"Aw, does the little baby's arm hurt?"

"Maybe," Ethan replies, licking his lips. "Are you going to kiss it and make it all better?"

"Yeah, in your dreams," she scowls before her lips twist into a grin. "Jock Boy."

"Whatever you say," Ethan sings airily. "Chicken Legs."

Silver scoots away from him and pretends to be angry, her eyes narrowed and no part of her body touching his. She's made it clear as crystal on multiple occasions that she isn't fond of his newfound pet name for her though Ethan won't seem to quit. He smiles a coy, boyish smile and reaches out to her.

"Aw, Silver, don't be mad," he pleads laughingly. "C'mon, I just did one of the three most spontaneous things in my life and we both know you're to blame."

"Me?" Silver questions dramatically. "Did I force you into that chair? Did I hold you down while Big Justin, who I think might have been a Big _Justine_ before the way _way_ obvious sex change, inked your arm?"

"Yes," Ethan nods vigorously and Silver scowls. His large hands find her slim hips and he forcefully pulls her into him. Huskily, he whispers into her ear, "_You_ pointed out the tattoo parlor. _You_ just had to go on and on about how you think tattoos are sexy. It's all for _you_ and about _you_, Silver."

She hates this inevitable affect he has on her. Little things like a smile, his ridiculous theories and him willing to simply sit with her and listen to her, it all makes her icy exterior melt a little. His touch makes her shiver and fill with warmth simultaneously. His kisses leave her powerless and exposed and vulnerable. She should hate him for his impact on her, but Silver can't help but surrender to him each and every time.

Their playful struggle comes to an end and she presses her ear to his chest, listening to his strong, rhythmic heartbeat. Her finger runs against the cotton of his t-shirt, writing his name over his heart in a loopy cursive. He's pointing out some constellation like he's an expert on the stars, but she'd much rather stare into his eyes.

"So what's the other two?"

"Huh?"

"You said that tattoo was one of the three most spontaneous things you've ever done in your life," Silver recalls, shifting in his arms. "What are the other two?"

"For one," he starts, looking rather bashful for a moment. "Um, telling you I like you."

Silver scoffs, "That wasn't spontaneity. That was Dixon backing you into a corner."

His eye glaze with guilt for a moment and Silver feels a pang in her heart, both for Ethan and Dixon. Dixon doesn't know about them. No one knows. She's Silver. She can come and go as she pleases and no one (other than Kelly) even bothers to ask.

Sure, sometimes late at night she feels at fault for the disintegration of Ethan and Dixon's friendship, but her relationship with the sweet Kansas boy was falling apart at the seams long before Ethan Ward even became a possibility. Dixon put her up on a pedestal and expected so much. She tried so hard to be his dream girl, but it was like fighting the wind. Silver refuses to do that. She refuses to be anyone but herself.

Silver never wanted things to happen the way they did, but Ethan makes her happy beyond all rationality. Can call her selfish, but Silver really doesn't give a damn. After all the crap she's been through, she thinks she finally deserves to be happy and she gets that in a boy who willingly abandoned his SUV for a rusty old pickup truck.

"Okay," Silver says quietly, tilting her head up to meet his gaze that seems strangely distant. "What's the third?"

Ethan doesn't answer right away and the long pause rattles every one of Silver's nerves. She watches him as he looks to the stars staring down at them. Her pearly white teeth catch the flesh of her bottom lip and she waits despite the way the silence is testing the small amount of patience she has.

"I don't think I'm going back to Beverly Hills."

He doesn't look at her and Silver laughs, slapping him lightly on the chest. "Haha, Ethan. Now, really, what is it?"

"I'm serious," he tells her softly, his face taking on that same tragic expression she saw in those few frightening moments before he kissed her for the first time. "When the summer's over and you fly back, I'm not going back, Silver. I'm staying here."

Silver practically jumps up, the jumble of mixed emotions evident on her face. She's on her knees, her back hitting the other end of the trunk. She wants to think it's just another one of his stupid jokes, but when she finds no trace of a smile on his face, Silver explodes, "What the fuck, Ethan?"

"I−I don't know."

"It's nice to see you've thought this through, Jock Boy," she shouts sarcastically, still trying to process this new piece of information. "What about your mom and Steven?"

"I talked to my mom," he nods calmly as if he's already mapped out this entire conversation in his head. "I told her how I've been feeling lately and she gets it. Plus, it's less for her to have to worry about."

"As selfish bitch as it sounds," Silver rambles, exasperatedly. "What…what about _me_?"

"Just listen for a sec, okay?" he asks and she falls silent. "I really meant what I said that night at prom. Your anti-acceptance speech, it got to me. It led me here and not that lacrosse camp, to you and not pretending like it didn't kill me seeing you with Dixon, pretending like I don't love you when I do, more than anything. Beverly Hills…I don't need it right now. All my life that place has defined who I am for me: Ethan, Mr. Popular and Ethan, the King Jock. As lame as it sounds, I need to sort through my shit and I don't think I can do it there."

"Ethan−"

"It's like how you had to take a break from West Beverly. Remember, Miss Bouncer? This is a second chance where no one knows who I was," Ethan says. Silver knows he's directly quoting her and chooses to stare off into the distance. The truck creaks and Ethan crawls closer towards her and giving her fingers a squeeze. "I think Montana is my St. Claire."

Silver doesn't know what to say so she blurts out the one question looping in her head.

"What about _us_?"

"I won't be surprised if you want to leave us in Montana," Ethan says with a sigh, his fingers rubbing circles around her frozen knuckles. The sincerity in his dark, shiny eyes kills her. "I'm not going to be selfish and ask you to wait for me because the last thing I want to do is hold you back."

"You aren't holding me back," she argues and stares down at their entwined fingers. She glances up at him, forcing a small, tight-lipped smile. "You think Montana has room for one more?"

He grins at her effort and places a soft kiss to the back of her hand. "As amazing as that sounds, Silver, I don't think it'll go over too well with your sister."

"I know," she admits with a sigh, her smile failing and curling down into a full fledged frown. "Ethan, I know it sounds stupid and idiotic and _clingy_, but…I don't know how I'm supposed to survive that place without you."

"I believe in you," Ethan breathes. As soon as his boyish, crooked grin appears, the tension seems to disappear as he reels her in close to him. "You're Silver, not just some regular high school girl. You don't take crap from anyone and you're smart and you have…life force."

"Life force," Silver repeats, silently marveling at how their bodies fit so perfectly together, his arms around her, her head in the crook of his neck. "Like 'may the force be with you' and Jedi mind tricks?"

"No…maybe, you can get a guy to do anything you say with so much as a snap," Ethan replies and they share a laugh because they both know it's true. "No. Life force, it's like your creative energy, you do what you want and you say what you want and you don't care what everyone else thinks. You just live. Not many people can."

"Wow, Ethan, first with the mystical man is an island and relationships are bridges analogy and now life force, huh?" Silver grins, looking up at his slightly embarrassed face. "Aw, he's sweet and deeper than a puddle. My boyfriend's _so _amazing."

"Only you can make a compliment sound like an insult," Ethan teases lightly at her playful tone. "Wait, your what? What did you call me?"

"My boyfriend," Silver whispers and leans up, her lips lightly brush the corner of his mouth. Ethan moves in closer though Silver smiles against his lips and pulls back. "Was any of it real?"

He blinks, clueless. "What?"

Silver bites her lip for a moment, her cerulean eyes meeting his absolutely attentive gaze. "You…you said you love me."

He wears a wide grin and presses his lips to her forehead. "Heh, as real as the ink on my arm, Silver."

She doesn't say it back and Ethan doesn't rush her. Their relationship isn't like hers with Dixon or his with Naomi or even his with Annie. With these two it's all about the moments, the little moments when they're together and simply enjoying each other's presence. When their lips meet, it's like lightening, sharp, shocking and makes everything simply spin. They aren't constantly worrying about the future because they live in the moment, in love.

The summer regrettably comes to an end and they're standing outside the airport once again. Their kiss breaks and Silver doesn't feel she has the strength to walk away. Each step taken is lesser than the last. With every step, she feels the air grow thinner, every breath not quite filling her lungs. Her hands disappear into her pockets. She can't stand the sight of them without his fingers laced between hers, his warmth grown cold.

The sound of the plane taking off nearly makes her sick. She feels all the moments they shared slip by, all the joy and bliss like water down a spiteful drain. She thinks of walking down small town streets hand-in-hand, kissing in the back of his truck, star gazing when they aren't allowed inside, marking up his sleeping face with her eyeliner and recording the whole thing, enjoying his eyes, his smile and his breathy whispers of, _"I'm glad you came."_

The mascara smears along with her tears and she can't care less.

Two weeks into the new school year, she walks into West Beverly and already she's bored of high school's monotonous nature. Annie seems to have proven Liam right, surely exploding like the volcano the proverbial bad boy insisted she was. Silver now harbors an overwhelmingly powerful hatred towards the older Clark sister, for the way she's turned Naomi into her own personal puppet among other reasons concerning her long distance boyfriend.

Sometimes she doubts this. She doubts him and her. Ethan doesn't have the best track record, going through Naomi then Annie and now Silver in such a short amount of time. She wonders if he's met someone else, some small town Montana girl who's sweet like Annie and blonde like Naomi and maybe a little sarcastic like Silver. She wonders if he's found someone else, someone perfect, but then she gets a text message.

_Look up at the sky. _

She plays along and quickly texts back an, 'okay...'

His reply is almost immediate. _We're looking at the same sky. _

Silver shouldn't buy into his cheesy lines, but she finds herself smiling, texting back a, 'God, you're so lame, Jock Boy.'

_Miss you too, Chicken Legs. _

Silver feels a small poke at her wrist and it steals her attention from the screen of her phone. She glances sidewards and sees her nephew staring up at her with large doe eyes, his hair a wild, jungle of blonde as usual. He's staring at her curiously and Silver smiles warmly at the child.

"Hey Sammy," Silver says and playfully pokes him back. "What's going on, kiddo?"

"Momma's gonna be mad at you, Silver," he coos as if disobeying Kelly is a crime worthy of cruel and unusual punishment. "You got another tattoo."

Her eyes fall to the inside of her wrist and the curly font is partially concealed by the multiple bracelets and bands she wears everyday. A fond smile slithers across her face and her fingertip absentmindedly traces the seven letters. Kelly's been preoccupied with something to do with school or maybe her love life and is yet to notice something Silver wears so proudly.

Silver doesn't have the best track record with tattoos and relationships though she swore when she got it the second night back in California, wearing a familiar, oversized flannel shirt, that this one is different. Her first had been with Naomi, a sign of friendship, a friendship that crashed and burned upon take off. Her second had been for Dixon, a rash and rather stupid declaration of love.

Though she's slowly coming to the conclusion that she may be in freakin' love with Ethan freakin' Ward, Silver doesn't consider the tattoo a declaration of love and certainly not friendship seeing as he's made it clear they aren't friends, that he − _they both_ want more. It's all sorts of complicated, but she wouldn't trade it for the world.

"Mon−tan−a," Sammy reads, straining his eyes. "Like Hannah Montana?"

"Eww, no," Silver answers automatically, lunging forward to tickle the youngster who runs off with a giggle. Leaning back into her seat, she looks at her tattoo once again and can't help the butterflies and the sudden smile.

_Montana_

Not a declaration of friendship or love, not a declaration at all.

It's a _memory_ of what has been and a _promise_ of their happily ever after yet to be had.


End file.
